Artificial intelligence (AI) has the potential to revolutionize the world of dating. We already live in an era of AI-powered algorithms promising to find better matches for us. Some people are already using ChatGPT to help them create better dating profiles. And they are turning to AI chatbots for relationship advice, or for ideas on where to go for the next date. And that’s just the beginning.
AI boyfriends and girlfriends
We’re now starting to see the arrival of “AI girlfriends” and “AI boyfriends” – essentially, AI-powered chatbots pretending to be the real thing. Who needs the everyday drama of having a boyfriend or girlfriend, when you can create your own AI girlfriend or boyfriend from scratch? You can pick their voice, their appearance, and what their favorite interests are. The thought of that is both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.
If you’ve ever seen Joaquin Phoenix in the 2013 movie “Her,” you know what I’m talking about. Phoenix played a divorced, lonely, alienated member of society who fell in love with an AI chatbot, voiced by Scarlett Johanson. A decade ago, the film felt dystopian and futuristic. But, with the rapid advances we’ve seen in AI recently, it’s fast becoming a reality. In fact, OpenAI, was planning to use a voice eerily similar to that of Scarlett Johansson for the next iteration of ChatGPT. So it was literally a case of life imitating art imitating life!
The pros of AI for dating
Of course, there are some advantages of using AI for dating. For one, AI could be very proficient at offering relationship advice, including “coaching” about what to do next in each step of a relationship. This might be helpful for people recovering from the death of a spouse, or simply suffering from the after effects of a divorce or nasty breakup.
But let’s think one step further. According to the dating app Bumble, AI might one day become your “dating concierge.” It would handle the booking of any restaurants for your dates, or help you find the perfect movie for date night. It might even help you understand the mysterious ways of the new man or woman in your life.
And, one day, this dating concierge might take all the guesswork out of dating entirely. If my AI chatbot were allowed to go on a simulated date with your AI chatbot, then you and I would be spared all the hassle and drama of going on a real, in-person date. You would simply ask your AI chatbot, “Well, how did it go last night” If our two chatbots hit it off, then it might be time to go on an actual, you know, human date.
The cons of AI for dating
And that’s where things get a bit scary, to be honest. We already live in a world that seems to be getting more impersonal by the day. We’re already hearing stories of teenagers and young adults meeting, having a relationship, and then breaking up, all over their mobile phones. They literally have “a relationship” without ever meeting in person.
And the same thing goes for relationships in our work lives. Back in the day, it might have been possible (but not advisable) to meet someone cute in the office and carry on a workplace romance. But, these days, we’re all working from home and holding Zoom calls. How can we possibly meet anyone new if we’re all stuck at home?
Is this the future of dating?
Thus, a very real risk of AI is that it makes dating even more impersonal. Yes, you might boost your statistical odds of finding “Mr. Right” or “Mrs. Right” by using AI. You might find real enjoyment in creating a personalized “AI girlfriend” or “AI boyfriend” capable of holding lengthy chats with you, at any time of the day or night. And you might appreciate some good relationship advice from a trusted AI-powered dating coach.
But the reality is that we’re getting closer and closer to the cold, soulless, and dystopian world envisioned by director Spike Jonze in “Her,” in which human beings are merely operating systems, capable of producing the right emotion or the right expression if given the right prompt.
